In no particular order, things I want to do in 2015:
- Be kinder to others.
This is not to say that I do not try to be kind to others in general, but everyone has moments when more patience could have been used in place of annoyance, hastiness, irritability, and a quick temper. It takes a lot of patience and effort to wait a few seconds before responding in less than ideal circumstances, but it pays off in the long run because usually a situation will either diffuse quickly or not even become a situation in the first place because of remembering to be kind to others.
Along with this, I am done with passive-aggressive apologies. Unfortunately, I caught myself this past year quite a few times in the act. "I am sorry that you took it that way... I am sorry that you were so offended... I am sorry that you misunderstood what I said." The list could go on. Any apology that puts the action back on the other person is not an apology. All it does is make the other person feel awful and incite a emotionally charged response. If you dish it out, expect it to be served back to you. It certainly was for me, and it was not fun to be on the receiving end. So, I am swearing off this type of language and might start to call others out on it because I am so tired of it. Keep it short, and keep it simple. "I'm sorry" will suffice and works wonders. Own up to actions that rub others the wrong way, whether intentional or not, and be forgiving of others is going to be a motto for 2015.
- Limit my screen time.
Most folks have been guilty of being glued to a phone when otherwise engaged with others, and I am not an exception to this. Smartphones are a great device and have a purpose, but when does it become too much? It is a bothersome trend to be among a group of friends and watch everyone ignore the people in the room for a Smartphone app. How much time is wasted not interacting with the world around us because we are developing addictions to technology? (Side note: my husband and I often joke the world would go bazerk if all electronic technology suddenly died.)
For 2015, I would like to give others more presence. Specifically, I would like to put my phone down if someone comes up to me and starts talking to me. When I am with a group of friends, I will not start playing with my phone if conversation starts to lull. If I am spending time with my family, not that I really do this much to begin with, I do not need to be checking my phone every five minutes or so.
- Try new things.
Because I will have more free time after setting phone boundaries and time limits, I would love to accomplish a few things from my list of things I would like to try but have never felt like I had the time to try. There are so many recipes in cookbooks my husband and I received as wedding presents that I would love to work through. (Although, that leads to a whole different issue in regards to my husband's persnickety palate.) There are sewing projects I have been meaning to get around to but have never found the time yet. There are books on my reading list that have been put aside for various reasons. This year will be the year I chip away at some of those lists, even if I tend to add things to the list ten times faster than completing things already on the list.
- Develop healthier habits.
There is a Biggest Loser challenge that is going to start at school once winter break is over, and I am excited to be part of the challenge. Since I am not a person who can afford to lose much weight, I received permission to challenge myself to pack on the pounds during this friendly competition.
There is another upside to trying to live a healthier lifestyle. After two years of marriage and no kids, it can start to get frustrating and discouraging, but instead of dwelling on forlorn feelings, I can focus on something that I can control and can only benefit me. Maybe I will get lucky and my husband will be encouraged to develop healthier habits as well... or maybe I will win the lottery this year.
- Spend more time in prayer.
Thanks to my cat Gus Gus, I was up at my usual time of five o'clock in the morning on Christmas day. Mass was not until half past ten, so I flipped through TV channels while I drank my morning cup of coffee until I came upon an old black and white movie on one of the movie channels. It was a movie about a pair of nuns from France attempting to build a children's hospital in the New England countryside. The blind faith of the nuns was commented upon several times in the movie and was a stark reminder of persons in my past who criticized me for having similar idealistic views of the world. In the movie, the nuns' faith helped fulfill their purpose and they eventually built a hospital. In my life, the rebuke of those who were supposed to have been my mentors, along with a little bit of bullying in a parish workplace, certainly chipped away at my faith, and I spent less time at church and in prayer as a result.
There is a long road to forgiveness, and it often starts with prayer. The years have lessened my anger but not necessarily taken back every feeling of hurt and betrayal. In the movie, the nuns prayed the Rosary while they were driving through the countryside, and it helped remind me that I can be more useful with my time when I am commuting 45 minutes every weekday morning and that making time for prayer during the day is not as difficult as it seems sometimes.
Life is always full of beginnings and ends, and as this new year of 2015 gets rolling, I hope others will take the time to resolve to improve upon themselves as well. After all, if we do not try to make the world a better place, who will? It gets tiresome to hear about all of the bad in the world. This year I want to hear more about all of the good in the world.
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