40 Weeks and Counting

Someone asked me this week if I enjoyed being pregnant, and I honestly had to respond no. The miracle of life is certainly amazing, and it is crazy to think how something the size of a poppy seed has grown into something the size of a watermelon all inside of me. But I would not count the past nine months as something easy to get through.

The belly at 40 weeks makes one feel like a beached whale.

It takes a lot of work to grow a tiny human, and there are so many things that the body tolerates in order to do this. While I anticipated the morning sickness (a.k.a. all day nausea that never goes away), I did not anticipate nine months of insomnia, water having a metallic taste, and bleeding gums nearly every time I brushed my teeth. As the weeks wore on, I anticipated my uterus stretching to make room for the growing baby, but I did not anticipate sciatic nerve pain, sore hips, shortness of breath, restless legs, and sharp pains in my abdomen any time I sneezed for months on end. My usually strong immune system became suppressed, which led to nasal congestion every single day, trying to keep a fever at bay while fighting off the stomach flu for nearly five days, and coming down with pink eye of all things.

As a very petite individual, with a starting weight of 112 pounds, my frame seems to have adapted reasonably well to the 44 pounds gained in about nine months, but the final weeks have been the most miserable as my legs started to swell from water retention. Who knew ankles could swell so much, and who knew plantar fasciitis was something that could developed on top of swollen feet?

Those baby kicks that started as something exciting and adorable have certainly gotten stronger and more painful as the baby has run out of room. It hurts when the baby kicks your ribs! While my doctor has reassured me that Baby will not be reenacting the movie Alien any time soon, I still have my doubts after viewing the misshapen curve of my belly on numerous occasions. The skin of my abdomen is stretched to the max and itches all the time, and the area around my belly button is still quite numb for the most part.

After having not felt well for nine months, I am ready to give this kiddo the eviction notice. The thought of giving birth is both exciting and terrifying, but the enthusiasm my husband has displayed as it all becomes more of a reality for him this week is encouraging to say the least. He and I have been on an emotional roller-coaster of feelings throughout the whole pregnancy, going from excitement to worry and fear to now restless anticipation, and it will be interesting to see what life brings postpartum.

For certain, I am thankful to my aunt for giving me a prayer card to St. Gerard (patron saint of mothers) which has helped keep me grounded all this time. The prayer for a mother with child has been a good mantra:

Almighty and everlasting God, through the operation of the Holy Spirit, you prepared the body and soul of the glorious Virgin Mary to be a worthy dwelling place of your divine Son. You sanctified St. John the Baptist, while still in his mother's womb; listen to my prayer. Through the intercession of St. Gerard, watch over my child and me and protect us at the time of delivery. May my child receive the saving graces of Baptism, lead a Christian life and, together with all the members of our family, attain everlasting happiness in heaven. Amen.

My New Respect for Parents

My husband and I were told at the end of December that our baby's 20 week ultrasound scan showed a few cysts. Initially I assumed it was me who had the cysts after the nurse told me on the phone that my doctor was going to wait to see if they go away on their own. After finally getting a chance to sit down with our doctor at the latest monthly check-up this past week and ask about that bit of information, it turns out these cysts were seen on our baby's brain. There was a big long name for this, but bilateral cysts are pretty much the only words I remember.

When these cysts show up, doctors will point out they are sometimes correlated to a chromosomal abnormality that can have serious complications. So my doctor did mention that, but she also was quick to say there were no other markers found on the ultrasound. Stupidly, I looked it up when I got home from the doctor. Because who does not scour the Internet for more information these days? (Probably people who know better than to go down that rabbit hole.) Of course the first results that come up for a search on bilateral cysts on a baby's brain in utero discuss how babies with this particular chromosomal abnormality associated with these kinds of cysts have a higher risk of stillbirth and often do not live past infancy.

Hello, freak out moment!

The reassuring news is that there was nothing indicating physical developmental complications, which would give doctors a high possibility of concern for this chromosomal anomaly. The rational side of me has had to repeatedly remind my husband and myself that if there were strong indications of something atypical with our baby the doctors would be scheduling tests immediately, not waiting weeks to perform another ultrasound as is the plan. While this is quite logical thinking, keeping one's sanity and having patience while we wait until week 28 is easier said than done.

The fact that there are so many results that even came up on an Internet search should tell me this is a fairly common phenomenon. I did find someone's post suggesting a correlation between seeing cysts on an ultrasound and extremely high IQ's in children after birth. I joked to my husband that perhaps we have nothing to worry about because we very likely made our very own Sheldon Cooper (from our favorite TV show The Big Bang Theory). My husband did not seem to find the humor in that.

And so we wait. Now every time the baby kicks me I pray that he or she is healthy because that is the only thing I can do. And I try to remember on days where there is less movement that I may not feel every kick because our baby had to be a rebel and attach him/herself to the front of my uterus.

News like this changes the tone of expectation for the birth of a child. We went from teasing each other about whether we will raise a boy or a girl to concern over the mere survival of this child. It is a gut wrenching fear that sits in the back of your mind and has no comparison for any other fear previously experienced in life. It creeps into your thoughts in the middle of the night as it invades your slumber, and it stalks your thoughts in the middle of the day. It gives me a whole new respect for parents.

But I am grateful for those little things that remind you perhaps everything will be okay. On day two of trying to wrap our minds around this unexpected hiccup, my husband and I received a package in the mail from a former co-worker of mine. She sent us a book to read while we wait for the arrival of our blessed little one. How coincidental is it that just as my husband and I are feeling anxious, a dear friend sends us the book Waiting Is Not Easy! by Mo Willems? In the book, Piggie has a surprise for Gerald, but Gerald is frustrated because he has to wait for the surprise. Piggie reassures him it will be worth it, and in the end Gerald declares it was worth the wait.

And so we wait.

It's a...

...boy? ...girl? Well, that does seem to be the question some grandmas-to-be would like to have answered. My husband and I had been going back and forth over whether or not to find out the gender of the baby, and when it came time to decide whether or not we should find out, we opted for not finding out.

While ultrasound technology's origin actually dates back to the late 19th century, medical ultrasounds were only first developed in the 1940s. Even so, sonograms for pregnant mothers were not commonly done until well into the latter part of the 20th century. The procedures are considered routine today, and the screenings are used to date the pregnancy; to detect viability, looking for any abnormalities; to monitor the baby's location, movement, and heartbeat; to check the location of the placenta in relation to the cervix, which can mean higher risks if the placenta is too close to the cervix; to establish a multiple birth versus only one baby; and to determine the sex of the baby.

The belly at 20 weeks begins to make it difficult to move around.

So before the use of this technology, how did expecting mothers know what they were having? Rather than wait for the birth, many women often relied on folk wisdom to determine the baby's gender. Modern science discredits these as mere superstitions, but there is something to be said for long-standing folklore and tradition. Science has even proven a few old wives' tales to be true over the years, like carrots helping your vision and honey helping to suppress coughs. Most of the old wives' tales about baby gender are unreliable, but it is still fun to speculate nonetheless.

And since we will have to wait until May to find out if this growing baby is a boy or a girl, it cannot hurt to use some folk wisdom to make a few predictions...

Baking soda test: If a pregnant mother collects urine in a cup, she can add baking soda to help determine gender. If the mixture fizzles, the baby is a boy. If it does not fizzle, the baby is a girl.

Curiosity got the better of me, so I attest to trying this. Apparently the thought behind the test is that the male baby hormones produce a more acidic urine. When I added baking soda to the cup, there was a brief fizzle, but then nothing. It certainly was not quite the same reaction as mixing baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) with vinegar (acetic acid). Conclusion: GIRL.

Bread: Not eating the crusts off a loaf of bread means an expecting mom is having a girl.

Usually I LOVE bread, especially hearty loaves. But lately, it seems I have to choke down most breads, especially the crusts. In fact, I will admit to not eating the crusts on a few occasions recently. Conclusion: GIRL.

Chinese birth chart: Finding your age at conception and the month you conceived on a Chinese birth chart is said to give you the gender of your baby.

Using an ever-so-scientific Chinese Gender Predictor, the prediction of the baby's gender is that of a girl. Conclusion: GIRL.

Cold feet: If a pregnant mom's feet get colder during pregnancy, she is having a boy, but if her feet are toasty warm, she is having a girl.

Having cold hands and feet all the time is something I have known all of my life. My mother used to tell me, "Cold hands, warm heart." My family used to get a jolt during the Sign of Peace at Mass during the winter months especially. It could be all that extra blood flow, but lately my feet have never been toastier. Conclusion: GIRL.

Dreams: Old wisdom dictates that everything in a person's dreams is said to occur opposite in real life. Thus, if mom-to-be dreams she is having a boy, it is actually a girl; if she dreams about a girl, it is actually a boy.

Old wisdom does not give direction on what happens with you have dreams about both genders. First I had a dream about a girl, but then I had a dream about a boy. Conclusion: Inconclusive.

Dry hands: Having dry hands and feeling the need to lather up with lotion all the time during pregnancy means the expecting mother is having a boy.

I have dry skin to begin with, but pregnancy seems to have exacerbated the problem. Conclusion: BOY.

Face: If a woman's face swells and gets rounder, the baby is a girl. A long and narrow face means the baby is a boy.

My face seems to have filled in a little, but that is likely due to putting on ten pounds more than anything. This one may need to be reviewed later in the pregnancy. Conclusion: GIRL.

Food cravings: If mom-to-be is craving sweets, it means her baby is a girl, but if mom-to-be is craving salty and sour foods, her baby is a boy. Perhaps this is why girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice?

I inherited my grandfather's sweet tooth, so I crave sweets to begin with. I certainly crave sweet foods more than salty or sour foods. In fact, salty and sour foods have triggered some aversions for me. I did tell my husband to hide the candy we keep at home from me. Conclusion: GIRL.

Gracefulness: If a woman feels clumsier during pregnancy, chances are she is having a boy. If she remains graceful, chances are she is having a girl.

If clumsier means having one too many incidences of the dreaded pregnancy brain, then count me in. If it means physical clumsiness, I have never been graceful to begin with. Conclusion: BOY.

Hair: If an expecting mother's hair grows thicker during pregnancy or if she finds her body hair is growing abnormally fast, she is said to be having a boy. If the expecting mother notices little changes in body hair or if her head of hair is dull and limp, she is having a girl.

When I first read about possibly seeing changes to my hair, I was all pumped for more luscious locks. In reality, I have the same fine, limp hair as always. Conclusion: GIRL.

Headaches: Women suffering headaches throughout pregnancy are said to be carrying a boy.

I have the occasional bout with migraines, but headaches have been fairly non-existent during this pregnancy so far, other than a few pesky ones that were probably due to slight dehydration. Crossing my fingers it stays this way. Conclusion: GIRL.

Heart rate: Many women swear by the baby's heart rate. If it is under 140 BPM, she is having a boy, but if it is over 140 BPM, she is having a girl. This one would seem to make sense since adult women tend to have a higher heart rate than adult men, but science has been unable to find any correlation between the baby's heart rate and gender according to a few medical studies completed in the 1980s.

At the ten week ultrasound, the baby had a heart rate around 160 BPM. At the twenty week ultrasound and other check-ups, the baby's heart rate has been between 140 and 145 BPM. Conclusion: GIRL.

History of parent's kids: Apparently the order of your mother's children can determine the gender of your baby. If mom-to-be is the first born, she will have what her mother had starting with her second child. If she is the middle child, she will have what her mother had starting with her third child. If she is the baby of the family, she will have what her mother had in the exact same order.

My mother likes to point out that I only became the middle child at age seventeen. I have always been in the middle of older and younger siblings, though. I did became the true middle child in 1999. Going with the middle child, I am supposed to have what my mother had starting with her third child, which would be the very female me. Conclusion: GIRL.

How a woman carries: A common thing women will often say is that if a pregnant woman carries the baby high and puts on weight in the hips, she is having a girl. For a boy, a pregnant woman will carry low and gain all her weight out front in the belly.

For a stick-person like me, putting on weight is not an easy feat. (Thank you, grandmother who weighed 99 pounds after her third child. Something tells me I inherited her genes.) My family likes to use the phrase "stick with eyeballs" to describe me from time to time. At Thanksgiving, my brother and father joked that now I was a "stick with four eyeballs". Ha ha. All joking aside, ten pounds does become noticeable, and I must admit that I cannot see my hip bones sticking out for the first time in my life. There is a lot more weight to put on yet, though, so things could change. Conclusion: GIRL.

Legs: If an expecting mom's legs get really big, it means a boy. If her legs stay in shape, it means a girl.

A freaky-fast metabolism means my legs are just as toned as ever. We will see if this changes as the pregnancy progresses. Conclusion: GIRL.

Mayan predictions: Similar to the Chinese birth chart, the ancient Mayan predicted the gender by adding the age of the mother at conception and the year of conception. An odd number means boy; an even number means girl.

I am currently thirty-three, and conception occurred in the year 2015. Add those two numbers together and you get 2048, an even number. Conclusion: GIRL.

Mom knows best: Supposedly expecting mothers' predictions are right about 71% of the time. Always trust a woman's intuition.

My husband has repeatedly said that he is having all boys ever since we got married. I have told him over and over again that he has jinxed himself. This momma thinks Darth Vader Princess is the perfect Halloween costume. Conclusion: GIRL.

Moody: Women who are moodier than usual are said to be having girls due to all those extra female hormones.

Feeling irritable could be due to all those surging hormones. Or it could be due to the fact that I have not had a good night's sleep since September. Conclusion: GIRL.

Morning sickness: If a woman is plagued by morning sickness during the first trimester, that little bundle of joy is a girl. If she eases on through without the slightest touch of nausea, that little bundle of joy is a boy.

Considering my innards were secretly plotting their escape from my body through my esophagus all day, every day from week four until week fifteen of this pregnancy, I am going to go out on a limb here. Also, the occasional resurgence has reared its ugly head a few times in the second trimester. And they say that is supposed to go away... sigh. Conclusion: GIRL.

Nose: If a pregnant woman's nose gets bigger and wider, the baby is a boy.

I do not think it possible for this Polish nose to get any bigger or wider, but then again, stranger things have happened. Conclusion: GIRL.

Pregnancy glow: Baby girls apparently steal their mother's beauty. If an expecting mother suffers from acne and skin blemishes during pregnancy rather than get that pregnancy glow, all bets are on a girl.

Keeping a youthful look into one's thirties comes as a blessing and a curse. For instance, it is amusing to continue to be asked what grade one is in school long after those bygone college days. However, continuing to have the skin of a teenager is not something one dreams of in order to keep a youthful appearance. When people I meet find out my real age, they want to know my secret. I always respond, "Good German genes." Needless to say, my skin continues to prove its troublesome self during pregnancy, only now I have been hesitant to wear much make-up to cover it up. Conclusion: GIRL.

Protein: If mom-to-be is craving meat and cheese, she is said to be having a boy.

Usually I love meat and cheese, especially cheese. Cravings for either of these have been non-existent. Conclusion: GIRL.

Side you rest on: If a pregnant mother prefers to lay on her left side, the baby is a boy. Preference for her right side means girl.

I am actually a back sleeper, so getting a good night's rest has proven difficult with the need to lay on my side so as to avoid waking with annoying hip pain. I have been rotating sides as comfort dictates. Conclusion: Inconclusive.

Sympathy weight: If daddy-to-be puts on a few extra pounds during a woman's pregnancy, the baby is supposed to be a girl.

My husband has a metabolism almost as fast as mine, so I have not noticed any weight gain on his part. Perhaps he would speak to the contrary. Conclusion: BOY.

Wedding ring test: An expecting mother is supposed to tie her wedding ring to a string and hang it over her pregnant belly. If the ring swings in a circle, the baby is a boy, but if the ring swings back and forth, the baby is a girl. Some argue the opposite is true.

Dad-to-be is really skeptical about this one, but it was certainly fun to try. I used my wedding band, not my engagement ring, and there was some definite swinging back and forth. Conclusion: GIRL.

Toddlers: If a toddler boy expresses interest in a pregnant woman, she is having a girl. If the toddler boy shows no interest, she is having a boy. It is vice-versa with a toddler girl.

I am not sure how to interpret this one. My nephew is older than a toddler, but he is the closest in age to a toddler with whom I interact these days. Conclusion: Inconclusive.

Other folk wisdom about pregnancy not related to gender...

Birth marks: If a baby is born with light brown birthmarks, supposedly mom drank too much coffee or had unfulfilled cravings during pregnancy.

Cravings: Apparently if anyone denies a pregnant mother what she is craving, that person will get a sty in his or her eye. Be ye forewarned!

Full moon: A full moon is believed to cause women to go into labor and give birth.

Heartburn: If a woman gets heartburn throughout her pregnancy, her baby will be born with a full head of hair. This one has actually been proven in a scientific study. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, there is a correlation between severity of heartburn during pregnancy and hair volume on newborns.

Long labor: Having a long, intense labor often signifies that a woman is having a boy. Apparently boys have larger heads, so they get stuck more often than girls. Go figure.

Umbilical cord: If a pregnant woman lifts here hands over her head during her pregnancy, she will choke the baby because the umbilical cord will wrap around the baby. Today doctors attribute this type of umbilical cord complication to movement of the baby before birth.

At 20 weeks, the baby looks a bit like Skeletor from the front but so adorable from the side!

Gender Prediction Results: 20 for girl, 3 for boy, 3 inconclusive.

I am fairly certain my husband thinks all of this is hogwash. He mentioned the opposite will happen in real life, but that could be because so many of the gender predictions are showing signs of girl. But what first time dad does not secretly wish for a boy? My concern is mainly on a healthy baby and a safe delivery. May will certainly bring us one exciting surprise nonetheless.