Life's Little Curve Balls

It is a funny thing to stare at a plastic stick in a bathroom at five o'clock in the morning on a Saturday and realize your life will never be the same again. That was where I found myself in early September after my basal body temperature still had not dropped. I had a presumed knowledge of what was likely going on knowing the inner workings of the human body (thank you, Christian Sexuality class from freshman year of high school), but taking an at home pregnancy test and seeing a positive result is still quite surreal.

In actuality, my husband and I had not thought about kids in a while since we have been preoccupied with the can of worms familiarly known as PTSD. This year we learned just how long forty-five days can feel when he spent nearly all of June and July seeking in-patient treatment at a VA hospital after some pretty scary moments in May, and we had been preparing ourselves for an additional forty-five days as he had been scheduled to check back in to a VA hospital for more treatment at the end of September. As a married couple, there certainly have been times where it has felt like we are front-loading the "for worse" part of our marriage vows. And after nearly three years of marriage, we were naturally starting to wonder if kids were even possible, but one plastic stick in the wee hours of the morning ended any thought of that sort.

After a little breakfast while watching some morning news, an hour later that positive test result was still there staring back at me. Yep, this was really happening. The only remaining question was whether or not to wake my husband and tell him before leaving for work or wait until after work that day. Anyone married to a foreign war veteran learns quickly that waking a sleeping soldier is not usually recommended unless absolutely necessary.

In the end, telling my husband right away was probably the best decision made. While I contemplated all day what will happen in the next nine months, I found myself getting nervous about everything. I was not really sure if my husband comprehended what I had told him earlier while he was still half asleep, but then, at just the right moment, I received a text message from him sharing his excitement with me. When I expressed my nervousness, he reminded me how awesome it is to become parents.

Many years ago, a lot of friends questioned why I chose someone like my husband. At first glance it looks like he and I have nothing in common; he is certainly not like me in many aspects (thank goodness). Yet we are very much on the same wavelength, and I am often reminded how much of a match he is for me. He is not my duplicate but my compliment. Whenever I am weak, he is strong. If he had any nervous thoughts, I was not made aware of them, and that was exactly what I needed at the time.

After about two days of keeping this exciting news to ourselves, my husband was ready to burst. We spent that Sunday evening with my family celebrating my youngest brother's sixteenth birthday, and every time we caught each other's eye, a slight smirk crossed both of our faces. At one point my husband pulled me aside to tell me how he was going crazy keeping quiet, and he needed to tell someone. At first I attempted to convince him to wait a bit before we said anything, but he pointed out that everyone was there. When you are part of a large family, getting everyone together all at the same time can be tricky. My aunt and uncle had even stopped over, so it sure was an ideal time.

Unquestionably, there are moments of life that can be etched in your memory, and the look on my parents faces will always stay with me. From ecstatic grins to wide-open eyes full of surprise, the news of a baby has to be some of the best news in life. However, the best comment has to go to my uncle when  he said, "Good, now she can put on some weight." To which my sister responded, "Yeah, in her tummy." Needless to say, inheriting Grandma's metabolism has made me the butt of quite a few skinny jokes throughout my lifetime.

At 10 weeks, babies are about 1.25 inches long. So tiny!

After the excitement calmed, the pregnancy symptoms set in. For me, it took all of two days after getting a positive test result for nausea to grasp its hold, and it did not really let up until week thirteen. Morning sickness is really not an accurate description when the feeling lasts morning, noon, and night. Even worse, things that once worked as a remedy for feeling ill suddenly became things that exacerbated the problem, and tips from medical professionals only really took the edge off. If nausea were bad enough, add insomnia, frequent urination, shortness of breath due to increased heart rate, heartburn, fatigue, and (my personal favorite) vomiting all to the same day. Just when you think you survived the day, you realize that you get to likely do it all again the next day unless by some miracle your symptoms are cured. Eating enough food is an important thing to do, but even the thought of certain foods makes one want to gag when suffering from nausea. Oh, and water! It is hard to drink a lot of water when it tastes like metal. I am fairly certain I lost more weight than put on during the first trimester.

At 11 weeks, there is more than just bloating.

Despite those things, seeing our little tyke at ten weeks along during an ultrasound certainly makes it all worth it. My husband's reaction to the whole experience was priceless. Seeing that heart beating on the screen and watching those little arms and legs wiggle around is a great reminder of what a great miracle new life is. There is a living human getting ready to greet the world, and that miracle trumps all the difficulties that precede the arrival of that little bundle of joy. May cannot get here soon enough!

At 14 weeks, there is definitely a baby bump!

Thankfully, the end of the first trimester and start of the second has brought some relief. My body still has moments of nausea if I do not keep enough fuel in it throughout the day, but it is not quite the same as that initial constant feeling of illness that plagues you for weeks on end. It certainly came at the right time for me, but truth be told, part of me still wishes it were as easy as the stork from Disney's Dumbo making a special delivery.